so this is what it feels like to have the rug ripped out from under you

s nnnnnnip

all the muscles in my arms are wrinkling and sunning themselves in flesh
i think they've forgotten the hard roll of

tender swishaying

the remote call of foot to ped of foot to floor of foot to

there's this occasion on my tongue that keeps calling it's name
there's a boy on my lip

and

i've half forgotten his name in the embrace

of all the others that got in the way

but in the eye of the sun blinking down widely

yawning down on me
tired of all my wit
and all the drive

that's gone racing surging chasing

out of me

i've lost it all in the wave of feet
of pitterpatter lost to heels

of flesh born to flesh touching leather
or worst yet plastic skin plasticcck

i've blinked and seen it come crashing down
i've flinched and remembered wincing away

i forget the taste of a sweet winter day
of rain on my tongue and air on my knees

between my thighs

like the fingers of a boy

i've wandered back and forth like a pillowing cloud of wheat
that was chased away by a forthcoming wind

only

to come slipping down into grit and grime
to find herself
falling into cement

into the color of vivid unnatural-ness

of girls blinking and aweing and coing
and pretending
and mocking
and finding reasons not to be
just because

it's the way to be

so i'm a gaping maw and i'm swallowing it whole
i'm an empty nest waiting for birds to crown

touch down on me and touch
but don't forget

the nest.